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Crypto Slang – Lambos On The Moon

HODL round while we explain the language of cryptocurrency...

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Crypto slang is colorful, unusual, occasionally indecipherable, and – to more experienced cryptocurrency enthusiasts and traders – often the sign of a wide-eyed newbie. From Lambos to Shitcoins (and rarely the other way around) we present a glossary of the terminology you’ll encounter in cryptoworld.

There’s nothing wrong with knowing the lingo, or even employing it in a sardonic manner from time to time – but if you want to be taken seriously on the Reddit subs, the Telegram groups, or the Slack channels, you might want to consider not just what you say, but how you say it…


CRYPTO SLANG GLOSSARY

To The Moon

Used to express the joy and elation felt when a SHITCOIN is pumped by a WHALE, giving the virgin trader the illusion that they have invested intelligently and wisely. Often affords a short-term opportunity for a ‘profit’, which rapidly disappears when the term’s user looks up from their Twitter feed to notice that the SHITCOIN train has already left profit station – and they’ve bought a one-way ticket.

(Sometimes expressed as TTM, which should stand for “Trading ‘Til Moneyless”.)

See also: “When moon?”, a question only slightly dumber than “Why moon?”, “What moon?” and “Where moon?”

Example usage: “Paragon TO THE MOON!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, wait, I just lost all my money.”

Lambo

Short for ‘Lamborghini‘, a fast car that you will never have.

Whale

Someone with more money than you. Doesn’t matter how much more – if you have 0.024 bitcoins, a WHALE has 1.763 bitcoins.

Example usage: “That whale is holding the price of KIN at 0.00000000000003 on Binance.”

FUD

Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt. Anyone can spread FUD, and anyone who disagrees with you is doing exactly that. It is of paramount importance in the cryptocurrency world to be COMPLETELY CERTAIN OF YOUR OWN RIGHTNESS and equally convinced that other opinions and evidence are devoid of merit.

Example usage: “Stop spreading FUD about The DAO, dude, it’s coming back.

Pump And Dump

In an easily-manipulated market with low volume and naïve investors, a ‘Pump And Dump’ occurs when an ASSHOLE and his two friends on Twitter all get together at a bar in Singapore and suggest in loud voices that “OneCoin is TOTALLY going crazy, man, I heard they’re going to OWN the Indian market!” The price spikes when NEWBS overhear them and, believing they have an exclusive insight, buy the token – driving up the price until the ASSHOLE sells his tokens and laughs greedily.

Example usage: “Following the Pump And Dump, eighteen people were arrested at a OneCoin meeting.”

HODL

It has been postulated that a Bitcoin talk forum user misspelled ‘HOLD’ in 2013 while drunk, giddy, or just deficient in the spelling department. Nowadays it is generally considered to mean “Hold On for Dear Life’ and represents the ultimate goal of any NEWB crypto trader – to keep a given token for more than eight minutes in the face of more pressing and urgent opportunities they just heard about in a bar in Singapore.

Shitcoin

A shitcoin is a token with no inherent value or utility, often promoted by some C List celebrity or greedy money engine, and which offers few (if any) benefits to its holders. Shitcoins are some of the most popular ways for NEWBS to decentralize themselves rapidly from their cash today.

Example usage: “I’m going to invest in the shitcoin STOX, because it rhymes with BOX, and a BOXer told me it was a good idea. Coincidence? I don’t think so!”

NEWB

This might be you, if any of the above wasn’t already part of your crypto slang lexicon… start reading here.

Example usage: “I’m going see if any NEWBS will upvote this post even though I’m quite clearly being a dick.”

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